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If a monogamous person cannot foresee themselves ever coming to terms with the wild ride of polyamory, they should reconsider. Sure, poly people might experience lulls in our love lives for the same reasons as other people: not meeting anyone we fancy, being overwhelmed by other responsibilities, health problems.
But eventually another poly person will show up and the cycle begins again. If your stomach knots at the thought of someone else laying their paws on your partner, then you still have work to do.
With that said, the wife of my ex admitted to me that though her feelings of jealousy have waned, they never completely died and continue to occasionally pang at her soul.
She just learned how to deal with those uncomfortable emotions without taking it out on either of us. I hook my partner up with my friends because I seriously feel that secure in his love for me.
Unlike time, love is not a finite resource. My strong sense of security is founded in bulletproof trust.
Because I know he loves me. I am not ashamed about sharing my love with more than one person. She also said those feelings were strongly outweighed by the fact that she knew how much her husband loved her.
She was confident in her knowledge that nobody could take her place. Ghia Vitale is an assistant editor at Quail Bell Magazine.
In my open marriage, feelings of jealousy and rejection emerge in unexpected places, and point the way toward growth. A stunted maternal instinct.
A long-dormant sexual awakening. A nascent midlife crisis. You might call it the perfect storm. Through my polyamorous eyes, this article appeared pretty straight forward at first, but the monogamous people in our group objected that it seems to put all the onus for adjustment on the monogamous partner.
I must say I agree, based on my own experience. I was SO careful to make sure he felt as loved and valued as he was before. In fact, he complained once that I never discussed how I felt about my new partner or showed any signs of caring about the new relationship.
Even so, I think I handled it the right way and will always do it that way. My husband on the other hand, who had less experience with relationships in general, made every mistake in the book and it almost destroyed our marriage, despite me being poly as well.
I think a monogamous person would have been driven to depression and divorce. Agreed, would you please share a link to the group.
Exactly my thought and what ended up happening. Cut the crap, grow up and just own that you are not all about love but all about ego.
Nice little excuse to go screwing a lot of people over. Leave each other the hell alone, it will never work! Could this also be true of the monogamous partner?
Their monogamy is an orientation, a fixed trait and not something for them to overcome. A relationship is a dynamic between two people. Yes, if your partner is bisexual but monogamous, that trait is about them and not you.
However, if you want to have multiple intimate, romantic and perhaps sexual relationships with other people, and you are in a relationship, it is about the relationship and not just about you.
It seems polys recognize this because they realize they have to conduct themselves a certain way in relationship. For a monogamous person to be with someone who is poly is not simply about not being poly themselves.
It put this down to simply to the flaws of jealousy or the desire to control is, I believe wrong, and disparaging to the mono person.
It is about what kind of relationship do I want to be in. It would be about the change in the relationship and the nature of the relationship that would result.
Polys understand this is seems where poly is concerned because they want to be in a poly relationship and general would not be happy in a mono relationship.
They would not be happy simply having the mono partner accept them and love them having their poly feelings, but not being able to express those feelings in a poly relationship.
She wants to be able to date and be intimate with other people she is bisexual. This is what he is struggling with.
These were not the terms of the relationship originally. This article is kind of giving a condescending opinion of what I consider my natural love style..
Totally agree. Polyamorists seem very selfish to me. For those of you who find the way poly people talk about a poly-mono relationships being slanted in favor of the poly partner, this is not always the case.
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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph. Is it right for your relationship? Polyamory is just one form of consensual non-monogamy.
It simply means…. It all comes down to four key values. Share on Pinterest. How to bring it up with your current partner. How to establish ground rules.
Emotional boundaries to consider. Physical boundaries to consider. Are you trying to find something exclusive? How do you feel about dating multiple people at once?
Have you heard of polyamory? Polyamory Meetups The first of these methods is finding polyamory meetups in your area.
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The network makes no claim to sole representation for polyamorous people. Best Polyamorous internet dating sites — Polyamorous essentially means having more than one partner that is sexual. We live our love out loud because homophobia only thrives in an atmosphere of silence and ignorance.
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